i'm just a kid.

okay guys..
Today, i just want to share my feelings on what happen to my life.. 
I have someone that i can be open to but sometimes he just can't take what the thoughts i want to share. So, here am I writing in here so that i can express what i feel lately..
Somehow.. i felt like i'm just a little kid who doesn't have any aim or dream in her life.. its just happened to be like that because one by one plan and dream that i had planned turn out to be nothing. one by one the dream that i once hold it slowly become unclear.. i don't know what i'm talking about right now.. but i know.. maybe my luck haven't come yet. i believe there are more people like me aimlessly live not knowing what to do. when i take a look at my friends, my family there are all grown up except me. i don't even know myself what path do i have to take.. or what path do i have to look at,, everything seems blur and impossible.. why i have to live my life like this? i also didn't know. Deep inside my heart.. when I saw everyone else succeed.. i'm just too broken hearted not knowing what i want to do or what i can do. i guess i'm still a little kid. I want to have a faith in me but somehow it was so difficult that i could not stand at. What am i supposed to do? i'm pitying myself. i feel sad about myself. Why i have to become like this? i guess its true that i'm just a kid. 

to him,

i'm sorry for everything.. sometimes its just so hard to endure my feelings.. i know you will always be there for me.. but sometimes.. i know when i share my thoughts, you will feel sad and tension more than me. thats why i possibly want to ease your pressure. I'm sorry.. i love you.. thank you for everything.. You always say 'don't be sad. It is not worth it.' i know it is not worth it but i felt eased when i let my feelings flow rather than i close it. i want you to know.. because of you, i can still endure anything that happen to me.. even the saddest things in my life. because i know.. you will always be there for me.. thank you for bringing such a great happiness in my life.. you are worthy to me. thank you for always trying to get along with me, understanding me, bringing the strength out of me.. you are the only one that i'm sure i will die if you walk out from my life..  You are my everything.. i love you..

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